Cutout muscle tee: Nasty Gal; Shorts: random; Polka dot tights: Macy's; Polka dot wedges: ASOS; Arm bands: from Colombia
Today we will be discussing hair parts. You may want to take a seat for this.
Beauty magazines have always discussed side parts as the most flattering for anyone with facial features. Middle parts divide the face in half and point out all your asymmetries and somehow interfere with your pineal gland. Today, I woke up and thought about it. What has the pineal gland done for me lately, really?
I usually part my hair on the left. Today I parted it down the middle. Something shifted in the world when I did this–I can’t really put my finger on it, but I definitely felt something moving (other than hair). On an unrelated note, I think we need to fumigate our room.
I went to the post office to mail a bunch of books. Nobody recognized me! I’ve never been there before, but usually I get nods of recognition like, oh, there’s M.I.A., or that Indian girl who lived next door to me in college who always smelled of lentils, or oh, there’s my 14 year old cousin. But today? Nothing. Coincidence?
Let’s look at how amazingly different side-parted bobs look versus middle-parted bobs.
(shoppinglifestyle.com)
(pinterest.com)
They look like completely different people!
Conclusion: changing the part in your hair is the number 1 most effective thing you can do to change your identity. Massive plastic surgery is a very close second, but many find it too costly and time consuming.
Pretty big fan of John Walter’s Hair Part Theory on gender perception. He’s the creator of the True Mirror (reversed image shows you how you truly appear) and the idea is that the hair part emphasizes that side of your brain. So a left hair part emphasizes someone’s analytical nature, for instance, which is unconventional for women. Hilary Clinton had this hair part until recently and she was seen as a powerful, ambitious political figure. Right hair parts also tend to be unconventional for men (less so if the man is particularly attractive) and are used in movies a lot to denote a villain, shifty character, or maybe an artistic type. Center or no hair parts tend to emphasize balance between the two hemispheres (and so you got Obama, who’s seen as a kind of peacemaker and great compromiser). If you want people to notice you, go with a left hair part. It accents the fact you’re unconventional and can make you seem more competent in work or school.